Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Isn’t it Ironic? Energetic Tracking and Cancer Recovery

Yes, I was diagnosed in October. Smack in the middle of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Ironic in so many ways. I found my own lump, so I guess I have to say that in some ways, Awareness Works. But I have to admit, it had nothing to do with the pink-ification of the month, and everything to do with pain. You see, while people will tell you breast cancer is not painful, the lump I found -- like those of many I have since learned of -- in fact, was.

A little sketch I did upon hearing my diagnosis.
That's a sabre-toothed tiger. Obviously. ;)
That’s the reason I found it to begin with. That’s the reason I bothered to get it checked out in the first place. I don’t like to hurt, and for about a week, I kept hitting it with my hand in the shower when I’d go to soap up, and I’d think, something just isn’t right about this. So, after talking with my hubs, who agree, something just isn’t right about this, within a week, I was at my GP’s.

Thank God.

Because it meant I got diagnosed early. We’re still considering me, even with some of the complexities of my situation, Stage II. Which is really good news, and gives me a great fighting chance.

The point I want to make here is LISTEN to yourself. It was my body wisdom, demonstrated through physical pain; my mental wisdom, demonstrated through a negative reaction to that pain; and my spirit wisdom, demonstrated through an inner knowing that something wasn’t right; which, in the long run, is what will have saved my life the first time.

I am a Reiki Master Teacher, and I have also taken some shamanic healing classes. In both of these, we use different forms of body scanning, or tracking, essentially to assess where the energy in the body field is, and what it’s doing. I consider the work that led to the discovery of the lump a very practical example of one way that tracking works.

Now, each day of my own life is about tracking. Tracking the pains in my body to understand what is healing and what is hurting anew. Tracking the very earliest warning signs that could indicate nausea or vomiting, so that I can adjust and accommodate with appropriate medication. Tracking the loss of feeling or pain, the neuropathy, in my extremities, and observing its slow progression while trying to understand how best to counteract it in that moment. Tracking my mental acuity, how long it takes me to form words or do simple equations, and noting when they are lost altogether. Tracking the intuitive feelings of right, wrong, confused, upset, emotional, and observing when there is nothing at all, just a blank slate, knowing it is from the chemo and the meds and the work they are doing in my body. Each day I am tracking for signs, for symptoms, for symbols, and searching for the appropriate remedy to put into action.

It’s about watching for signs at each level of my consciousness, at each level of my energy field, and then attempting to take an action that seems to match it energy for energy. Through this way of working with my body, mind, spirit, I believe can find new ways to communicate with this dis-ease, and those caring for me through it, and to move beyond it. It is not longer about ignoring my needs and wants, but rather, about being intensely fashioned around them from the cellular level up.

How often do you ignore pain in your body, push through, only to come through the initial stage with something worse?

How might you be able to serve your own needs and wants, if you were not putting something or someone else first?

No comments:

Post a Comment